THE TALEGATE PODCAST
E5: Our Oldest City
FLORIDA MAN: Howdy folks, and welcome to Dashboard Chats!
CHEESEHEAD: As the name implies, we are recording mini segments from our dashboard on the drive between our main interviews to discuss the tales and urban legends that aren’t quite fit for the mic.
FM: That’s right! Ain’t every topic ripe for recordin’ but that don’t make them any less interesting. With that, I’m Harrison, the Florida Man.
CH: And I’m Aaron, the Cheesehead. Today we come to you from the southernmost cross-country highway and our main road to the West, I-10.
FM: I ain’t no stranger to I-10. Wife and I actually took this route before from Jacksonville, FL, plum to Santa Monica, CA. It’s 2,460-some odd miles of open road.
CH: Exciting!
FM: Some parts are. Right now’s the fun part, but hit the desert and the landscape just kind of..goes on...and on...and on. Dirt Devils were cool though.
CH: Dirt Devils? Wonder if they’re any relation to our friend with the chair. Anywhoo, we just left St. Augustine where we interviewed a real life mermaid! But I feel like there’s just so much more to unpack.
FM: Oh definitely.
CH: Like, we barely even touched on the Fountain of Youth.
FM: Well, Flagler College is said to have one. Then there’s Fountain of Youth Archaeological Park. De Leon Springs also has their own Fountain of Youth which I’ve canoed around. They got an all-you-can eat pancake house inside a historic mill, so anyone in the neighborhood ought to check it out for the pancakes if anything else.
CH: Serious question though. If there are so many Fountain of Youths in Florida, why do so many Florida residents look so ghastly?
FM: Meth, probably.
CH: Wowzers. Kinda cool to have a Fountain of Youth at a college though. Flagler, you said?
FM: Yea. Flagler College is actually a real gem. College itself was founded only in 1968 but encompasses some of St Augustine’s most incredible structures, including the Ponce De Leon Hotel built in 1888. Remarkably, the electricity was installed by none other than Thomas Edison himself and had its interior design, stained glass included, headed by Louis Tiffany of Tiffany Glass, Co.
CH: Hot knobs, Flagler College is like a true time capsule. Only, a time capsule worth millions in the nuances alone. So the college has connections to Tiffany, Edison, and Ponce de Leon?
FM: Actually, it has no connection with Ponce de Leon. In fact, Ponce has no ties at all to the legendary Fountain of Youth.
CH: Okay, now you’re just yanking my chain.
FM: Ain’t yankin’ ya, man. Honest. I’d find you citations myself, but I’m driving.
CH: I got my phone charged up so I’ll give it a go. Hm. According to Smithsonianmag.com, the Spanish Conquistador, Ponce de Leon, indeed never sought out the Fountain of Youth--well I’ll be darned. Says in the year 1513, Juan Ponce de Leon departed Puerto Rico for the then unexplored Bahamas seeking to recoup the diminishing favor in the eyes of the Crown, only to stumble upon Florida by mistake.
FM: Sounds like he cared a lot more about clout than immortality.
CH: According to historian, J. Michael Francis, of the University of South Florida who has spent decades sifting through contracts and correspondence with Spain, absolute zilch mentions or even implies a quest for the Fountain of Youth.
FM: And there ya go.
CH: Apparently the fable of the Fountain of Youth began with a satirical piece made simply for Ponce de Leon to look like a gullible duffus by a man named Gonzalo Fernández de Oviedo y Valdés. Seems like de Leon was pushed out of Puerto Rico in favor of Oviedo’s pal, Diego Columbus--son of Christopher Colombus.
FM: Politics, man.
CH: We mentioned Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides and how they featured mermaids, much to Crecendia’s distaste, but the same film features the Fountain of Youth as well.
FM: Sure did, the movie had Blackbeard of all people not only in search of it, but dying at the site. All this despite archeologists knowing since at least 1996 that Blackbeard met his end off the coast of North Carolina and are activity excavating the remains of his ship.
CH: Disney, man.
FM: You know, Disney don’t have a monopoly on Mermaid films though. Anime like Lu Over the Wall and Ponyo were fantastic spins on all the legends. Stephen Chow’s The Mermaid is also pretty stellar.
CH: Stephen Chow, isn’t that the star and creator of Shaolin Soccer and Kung Fu Hustle?
FM: The one and only.
CH: Speaking of the number one, how about a pit stop?
FM: Read my mind. Beats using the empty Gatorade bottle, at any rate.
CH: Ew, at whose rate exactly?
FM: Mine. Welp, thanks folks for joining us for Dashboard Chats. We’ll try to do one each week between Talegate interviews, so be sure to tune in.
CH: Furthermore, we’d love to answer any questions you might have regarding the topics we’ve discussed or stories you may have on your own.
FM: Just email us at Thetalegatepodcast@gmail.com and check us out on Instagram @thetalegatepodcast for photos, cast info, updates and more.
CH: See you later, Talegaters