“Unto many, a sailor falls to the luring sound of the siren’s call.” Mermaids are one of the most enduring myths of all time. The Talegaters attempt to interview one… or will they, too, submit to the Siren’s Call?
Mermaids have been a part of myth and lore since some of the very earliest civilizations. Dating back to ancient Assyria, the goddess Atargatis, is the first recorded instance of a human body becoming part aquatic animal. Since then, countless civilizations have incorporated merfolk as part of their folklore and mythologies. While Sirens are often synonymous with mermaids, they were actually half-human, half-bird in the original Ancient Greek texts, though they, too, were known to lure sailors to their deaths as "sirens" and merfolk are thought to do today.
It may be easy these days to dismiss the idea of these submariners, famous European explorers such as John Smith, Christopher Columbus, and Henry Hudson have all logged sightings of these creatures in the Americas with conviction. Be that as it may, it was common to mistake the tails of manatees, dugong, whale, and dolphin tails for that of mermaids, and so this complicates the sailors's authenticity. But we at The Talegate Podcast can tell for you in all earnest that mermaids are very real...
Check out more on these topics by listening to The Talegate Podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or any other fine podcast directories; and please rate, review, and subscribe. OR simply follow the link our user-friendly website at www.thetalegatepodcast.com! Also, be sure to follow us on Instagram @thetalegatepodcast and write us with your own stories at TheTalegatePodcast@gmail.com.
“Unto many, a sailor falls to the luring sound of the siren’s call.” Mermaids are one of the most enduring myths of all time. The Talegaters attempt to interview one… or will they, too, submit to the Siren’s Call?
Mermaids have been a part of myth and lore since some of the very earliest civilizations. Dating back to ancient Assyria, the goddess Atargatis, is the first recorded instance of a human body becoming part aquatic animal. Since then, countless civilizations have incorporated merfolk as part of their folklore and mythologies. While Sirens are often synonymous with mermaids, they were actually half-human, half-bird in the original Ancient Greek texts, though they, too, were known to lure sailors to their deaths as "sirens" and merfolk are thought to do today.
It may be easy these days to dismiss the idea of these submariners, famous European explorers such as John Smith, Christopher Columbus, and Henry Hudson have all logged sightings of these creatures in the Americas with conviction. Be that as it may, it was common to mistake the tails of manatees, dugong, whale, and dolphin tails for that of mermaids, and so this complicates the sailors's authenticity. But we at The Talegate Podcast can tell for you in all earnest that mermaids are very real...
Check out more on these topics by listening to The Talegate Podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or any other fine podcast directories; and please rate, review, and subscribe. OR simply follow the link our user-friendly website at www.thetalegatepodcast.com! Also, be sure to follow us on Instagram @thetalegatepodcast and write us with your own stories at TheTalegatePodcast@gmail.com.
THE TALEGATE PODCAST
Episode 5: The Mermaid
Part 1: Introductions
FLORIDA MAN: Howdy folks, and welcome to The Talegate!
CHEESEHEAD: For those of you just joining us, we’re on a roadtrip across America to uncover the mysteries behind tall tales, fairy tales, folktales, fishtales, & urban legends, one interview at a time.
FM: We inherited a truck from our late Granny May and discovered that the crystal hanging off the rearview mirror was more than decorative. It’s a Dowsing Pendulum leading us to the good folks behind the tales we all grew up with. With that, I’m Harrison, the Florida Man.
CH: And I’m Aaron the Cheesehead. And today we are at the Atlantic Coast in the oldest colonized city in the United States: St. Augustine, FL. Home to a great historical fort, the oldest school house, a college with electricity installed by none other than Edison himself, more ghosts than are Wisconsinites at a Friday night Fish Fry, and even the fabled Bubbler of Youth!
FM: Bubbler of what? Ah, you mean, Fountain of Youth. Yea, there are about a million “Fountains of Youths” in Florida and ain’t a one of them work, but before we get down to business, what we drinkin’ today, Cheesehead?
CH: Today’s brewskies are called “Galleon’s Golden Ale” by Ancient City brewed right here in St. Augustine. It sports a light color and a zesty aroma. [sniff the fuck out of that shit] Looks like a refreshing way to beat the Florida heat.
FM: Ain’t that a tall claim. Gimme here. [drinks] You know? Lives up.
CH: It certainly does live up. But you know who lives below? Today’s guest.
FM: That’s right! Before we hit the hay last night, we put a note in a beer bottle kindly requesting an interview and cast it out into the big blue sea.
CH: We were fined $100 for littering.
FM: Sure was! But hot damn if it weren’t worth it.
CH: As a disclaimer, we do not endorse littering with the acception of reaching out to fantastical, mystical creatures. And let’s be honest, Florida beaches are filthy enough without our help. Give a hoot, don’t pollute!
FM: We checked the beach front this morning and, lo and behold, found a returned message washed ashore. It read, “meet me behind the big rock, make sure you are not followed.”
CH: A little cryptic there, but we beggars can’t be too choosy. So here we are currently back on the beach where there appears to be several “big rocks”. I wonder which one belongs to our mystery guest.
MERMAID: [melodic run]
FM: Hush a sec and listen. You hear that? That...strange voice...like it’s callin’ to me.
CH: No… no, I’m pretty sure it’s calling to me.
FM: Funny... I just can’t stop walking towards that... big rock.
MERMAID: [singing]
Come to me, ye men of land.
Into the sea, beyond the sand.
I beckon you into the waves.
Like many sailors, to their graves.
CH: I want to turn back, but...I can’t…
FM: It’s a siren. Got us hooked somethin’ fierce...
MERMAID: [continue singing]
Just take my hand, you’re almost here
Just leave ashore your woes and beer...
CH: [shakes jowls] Wait, WAT?
FM: Ah heeell no!
CH: Listen here little lady, enough is enough.
FM: Yea, takin’ folk’s lives in one thing, but taking folks’ beer? Now you done crossed the line, miss.
MERMAID: [starts crying]
FM: Oh hush with them crocodile tears. Maaan, let’s take our beer and get out of here, Cheesehead. She’s just being salty.
CH: She is from the ocean though, so she probably can’t help the saltiness. But yea, the water works won’t work on us, young lady. We know you aren’t really crying.
MERMAID: [crying intensifies]
CH: But if you hypothetically were crying, for ah, what reason would you be doing so exactly?
MERMAID: It’s just that, this was supposed to be my first “calling.” All the other mermaids at Siren School have passed their Calling Tests and I can’t even call a couple of drunkards to their deaths? I’m never going to fit in with cool kids. Always picking on me. Never inviting me to their Reefer parties to smoke seaweed or-or to sneak out for a little harmless skinny-beaching.
CH: That sounds painful.
FM: Okay well, first off we weren’t even drunk. Yet. Secondly, killin’ folks ain’t ethical. And thirdly...there is no excuse for bullying and I’m terribly sorry the other fishfolk pick on ya. That said, you don’t want to be friends with them anyway. Sound like a buncha douche bags.
MERMAID: What are "douche bags?"
FM: Just somethin’ nasty.
MERMAID: You’re right. You are so right! They are something nasty….douche bags, was it? And I am so sorry for trying to call you guys to your deaths with my alluring voice. I have been practicing all summer. But I guess, thankfully for you, I just wasn’t good enough.
CH: You seemed plenty good enough to me right up until the beer part.
MERMAID: Yes, you two had a powerful unwillingness to give that up. Like, you might have problems, but who am I to judge? Look, let’s start over. Hello, I am Cresendia Coralfin. Again, I am so so sorry about what happened just now. I am beyond embarrassed. Is there any way I can make it up to you?
FM: Good to meet you, to. I’m Harrison, the Florida Man. And yea, uh, Miss Coralfin...
MERMAID: Cresendia.
FM: Cresendia, how ‘bout you can start by not trying to kill us ever again?
MERMAID: Can do! Absolutely.
CH: And how about an interview as a token of good faith?
MERMAID: An interview? You guys want to interview me?
CH: Absoltootalootly. And I’m Aaron, the Cheesehead, by the way.
MERMAID: Pleased to meet you, Mr. Aaron the Cheesehead. And shell yea! Of course I’ll let you Interview me. I’d be happy as a clam too! In school I may have been laughed at, but who’ll be laughing now after I’ve become Mermaid Ambassador to the surface world?
FM: We certainly don’t have any authority to give you that title, but we’d still love a simple Interview with ya to hear your fish tales nonetheless.
PART 2: Legend of Mermaids
MERMAID: Fishtales, right. Absolutely. Our tale beings thousands of years ago with the Assyrian Goddess, Atargatis.
CH: You’re kicking it off with an Asyrian Goddess? The suspense is already killing me!
MERMAID: Deeply smitten was she with her human lover until one day by accident she brought onto him to an untimely death! Stricken with grief and disgusted in her own skin, the goddess cast herself into the sea, transforming into a mermaid and, in doing so, becoming the very first of our kind.
CH: Wowzers, what a thoroughly dramatic origin you got there. And here I thought your story would begin with Poseidon and the Greek sirens or something akin.
FM: I just figured one day a man and a fish just up and, you know. Like that Lighthouse movie.
MERMAID: Well I haven’t seen Lighthouse, but I can read between the lines and like ew. And the Greek Sirens are actually the most common misconception when discussing merfolk. You see, while we and the Greek Sirens, such as those in Homer’s The Odyssey, do share a similar pastime of luring sailors to their gruesome and abrupt deathbeds, they were not mermaids. No, Greek Sirens were half human, half bird.
FM: Wait a gosh darn minute, I thought them Greek birdfolk was harpies.
MERMAID: They, too, were part human, part bird, but they are different in agenda. They never took interest in tempting sailors to crash upon the rocks.
CH: So why is the term “siren” so often confused with “mermaid?”
MERMAID: Don’t get me wrong, the two words has become all but synonymous in this day in age. Even we merfolk have adopted it. But the original Greek Sirens were changed to mermaids when their stories were rehashed by Christians in their medieval maps and bestiaries.
CH: But why though?
MERMAID: How am I supposed to know? Why don’t you go and ask a Christian? There are still plenty of them still, from what I hear.
FM: I’ll be sure to drop that question at the next revival. “Hey preach, why’d y’all change all them sirens to mermaids in your medieval bestiaries?”
CH: Sure that’ll go over well. So “siren” is fine, but you are technically a mermaid, just so we’re on the same page?
MERMAID: Precisely, you’re getting it. The Old English “Mere” meaning sea and “maid” meaning, well, me. A young lady.
FM: So siren, mermaid, merfolk... anything else we’re missing?
MERMAID: Oh gosh, people have given us so many names over time. Let’s see: serenas, ningyo, nereid, naiads, oceanid, sea-maid, water nymph, submariners. Honestly the list is exhausting and I’m sorry if I butched some of those names. One can only be fluent in so many surface languages.
PART 3:
CH: So your lineage is said to date all the back to the myths of ancient Assyrian. You merfolk have quite the history yet have remained a mystery for so long.
MERMAID: Have we though? There has been evidence of us world-wide for centuries. Depictions of my people go back to Mesopotamia during the Old Babolonian Period for goodness sakes.
FM: They sure do. It is pretty remarkable how your folk have been represented nearly all over the planet by different people and throughout all different parts of history. Yet y’all still remain a mystery. Why come?
MERMAID: As a general rule, we are not permitted to visit the surface world beyond beckoning unwitting humans to the fathoms below for yanno, food and stuff.
CH: Wait, you eat humans?
MERMAID: Usually, though sometimes game hunters will catch and release.
CH: Jesus, that’s...that’s cannibalism!
MERMAID: We aren’t human.
CH: But you’re half human! Why don’t you eat something else like...like…
MERMAID: Like Fish? You know that wouldn’t be any less cannibalistic by your principal. And anyway, we enchant the humans into drowning first then we eat them. A far cry kinder than you people treat animals, I’d say.
FM: I kinda see your point of view, but I think we veered way off topic. Why, if y’all merfolk been around so long isn’t your existence as factual as any other creature?
MERMAID: Mermaids are victims of “fantasy.” It’s common knowledge that humans anymore will pass us off as figments of the imagination even if there is evidence to the contrary. And even if a person stands by their claim with conviction, most onlookers are just assumed to have witnessed some other marine animal. And we merfolk wouldn’t have it any other way.
FM: As a former history teacher, we reviewed Christopher Columbas’s voyages to the critically inaccurately named “New World” and it seems he legitimately believed to have spotted mermaids. Only, we can safely speculate now that he actually mistook Manatees for mermaids just as he mistook Cuba for the Cathay being modern day China.
MERMAID: Haha, yes, that guy. Christopher Columbus is considered an imbecile even in submarian cultures. But you are correct, poor manatees were mistaken for my people and described as “homely” by Columbus, as if he was one to talk. Quite frankly it is known in our history that we Merfolk never appeared to him above water, rightfully afraid he might seek to harm us.
CH: Columbus sure did love him some genocide so good call on that one.
MERMAID: Columbus wasn’t alone, however, in terms of mistaken identity. Manatees and their dugong cousins have been taken for mermaids all throughout history. For that matter, dolphins and even seals also have been known to inspire many a sailor’s imaginations.
CH: What’s amazing to me that these weren’t just any old sun-baked sailors, but famous, seasoned explorers who took Mermaid sightings to heart.
MERMAID: Indeed, notably among your kind were captains Henry Hudson, Richard Whitbourne, and none other than John Smith.
FM: Henry Hudson as in the Husdon bay and river up north?
MERMAID: Yes, indeed the very chum.
CH: I actually did hear about this one. Henry Hudson himself never witnessed a mermaid butlogged that several of his sailors did. He took it as fact, and why not? It was 1608 in territories only recently explored by Europeans. Mermaids were just as real as anything else as far as they knew.
MERMAID: In a world of twenty foot snakes, poison-toed aquatic mammals, talking birds, and dragons, is it really a stretch to believe in merfolk?
FM: D-DRAGONS!??
MERMAID: Yes?
FM: There are real dragons??
MERMAID: Yes, in Komodo.
FM: Oh. Komodo dragons. Right.
CH: Don’t worry, buddy. I know how much you love dragons. We’ll find one eventually. So Crecendia, I knew about Hudson, but could you tell us anymore about Captain Whitbourne?
MERMAID: Of course! Captain Richard Whitbourne’s sighting took place in 1610, merely two years after Hudson’s log. Whitbourne was allegedly terrified as a mermaid tried to climb aboard three different boats. But the sailors beat the poor mergirl until she finally fled.
FM: I just found his official account on my phone and, wow. Captain Witbourne wrote:
Now also I will not omit to relate something of a strange Creature, which I saw there in the year 1610. In a morning early, as I was standing by the River side, in the Harbor of Saint Johns, which very swiftly came swimming towards me, looking cheerfully on my face, as it had been a woman: by the face, eyes, nose, mouth, chin, ears, necke, and forehead, it seemed to be so beautiful, & in those parts so well proportioned, having round about the head many blue streaks, resembling hair, but certainly it was no hair. [4]
CH: I picture her “hair” like the spines of a lion fish. Yanno, only blue. Do mermaids have hair like that?
MERMAID: Not unless it was Atargatis herself, or perhaps another of the ancient ones. We have Hair like humans do, see?
[wet hair sound ...if that’s a thing]
CH: That’s absolutely magical!
MERMAID: Thanks!
CH: I love the way the water flies off as you whip your hair back and forth. How do you do that?
MERMAID: Where there’s a Willow, there’s a way.
FM: And speaking of Smith, John Smith saw mermaids too, you said, right?
MERMAID: I did!
FM: Blows my mind. I know Disney fudged up the accuracy of John Smith’s Jamestown expedition pretty royally, but you’d reckon of all things that mermaids would be the part Disney actually kept. I mean, it’s historical and fantasy at the same time, and what more could they want?
MERMAID: Oh, don’t get me started about Disney. I’ve heard what they did to Han Christian Anderson’s beautiful yet haunting tale. They spun a noble-hearted mermaid into an angsty boy-crazy brat willing to compromise her entire kingdom just to hook up with a man she’s never even met. Worse yet, the movie enables her behavior by the end.
FM: Eh, I always had a hunch that King Triton just gave her legs to get her the hell away from the rest of them.
MERMAID: And good riddance. Disney left us merfolk out of Pocahontas and rendered us
utterly forgettable in Pirates of the Carribean.
CH: Thinking on it, has Disney ever done right by your folk?
MERMAID: Hm. Well, they got us down pretty accurately in Peter Pan, but J.M. Barrie did the heavy lifting on that one.
PART 5: Evidence of Mermaids
FM: How ‘bout we play a fun little game?
MERMAID: Of course! I love games! The funner and littler the better!
FM: Thissen here’s a game we like to play on The Talegate called, “Is this You?”
MERMAID: Intriguing.
CH: We’re gonna show you images and footage of alleged mermaids and you tell us if it’s you. Well, not you per se but your kin with the fins. Your finkin.
MERMAID: Easy enough. I’m ready to dive right in!
CH: Perfect! And for those of you listening at home, work, or on-the-go, you can find these images and more by following our instagram @TheTaleGatePodcast.
FM: Alright, first picture here is a depiction of a mermaid… uh, excuse me, merman. It is one of the very earliest surviving depictions of merfolk. So tell me, Is This You?
MERMAID: Oh, how beautiful. Iron age, I’d wager. Many people have attributed these early depictions to Dagon, an ancient Canaanite and Mesopotamian god associated with fertility. I’m going to say, no, sadly. This is not a merfolk. Well, this image is of a merfolk, but Dagon was probably not, I mean.
CH: Old-Bablonian and ancient Assyrian art often depicted merfolk though, correct?
MERMAID: Correct, just like this one here, but the association with Dagon and mermen didn’t come until later. Probably due in part to the Phoenicians.
FM: Based on my notes, The Phoenicians, creators of the modern alphabet (if Epcot taught me anything) and master mariners as they were, certainly believed in mermaids. Their word dâg literally meant “fish,” so are you saying this simple coincidence changed Dagon’s entire iconography?
MERMAID: More or less.
CH: And I just found some professional opinions to back this up. Doctor of theology, Hartmut Schmökel, certainly found Dagon’s merman likeness disagreeable, asserting Dagon’s aquatic affiliations harkened back to the Phoenician language, like you said. Furthermore, some rabbis like Gil Student of Jewish Bible Quarterly, believes that Dagon’s name is suspiciously close to “dagan” meaning grain, relating him back to a god of fertility, not the ocean.
MERMAID: I wish we had touch-activated encyclopedic tablets like this in the ocean. Apart from the surfers and seamen carry them into the waves only to lose them to the sea by accident.
CH: Yah, I imagine battery acid is harmful to aquatic life.
MERMAID: Battery acid is harmful to all life.
CH: Touche.
FM: Here’s a print from an anonymous Russian folk-artist from 1866 depicting a mermaid and merman with a ship sailing casually in the background. Cresendia Coralfin, Is This You?
CH: What’s she doing to the merman anyway? Removing a lamprey?
MERMAID: [giggles] This looks like merfolk in true form. While they do appear to be floating above the water almost in full body, they are probably just resting in the shallows. Hm, as for the lamprey, this particular piece of folk art could be using a serpentine creature as a parallel to Adam and Eve. Who knows. I do wish to know more about this mysterious piece.
CH: Very allegorical. Now here is the most infamous mermaid of all, the Fiji mermaid. Tell me now, Is This You? And Lord God Jesus Mary and Joseph tell me it isn’t.
MERMAID: HAHA, no this was just a rouse promoted by world famous circus tycoon, P.T. Barnum, showcased in New York in 1842. This taxidermied nightmare fuel is the unholy amalgam of a juvenile monkey sewn onto the hidside of some poor fish.
FM: Yea, this particular hoax has crept its way into pop culture, being reproduced countless times, sold as novelty souvenirs, and even created out of Rainn Wilson in Rob Zombie’s cult horror classic, House of Thousand Corpses.
CH: Ew. Two wrongs don’t make Dwight. Finally, we have actual video footage from Israel in I think 2013. Not long after the Yeryat Yam sightings in 2009. Watch this video here andtell us, Is This You?
MERMAID: This actually caused a lot of buzz in our communities because this does look to be legit enough to pass for a real mermaid. However, it begs the question, why would a mermaid just chill with her back turned to human onlookers? It makes no sense unless she just had a deathwish. That, paired with how amazingly talented people have gotten over the years with film tricks, I’d have to say this could be authentic, but not likely.
FM: Finally, I saw a curious image in Berlin’s National Gallery by Franz von Stuck. A 1918 oil painting entitled, “Faun and Mermaid.” This depicts a rather jovial pair emerging from the surf with the mermaid riding on top the satyr's shoulders and using a pair of leg-like fins.
PART 6: Mermaids in Pop Culture and Media
CH: She has a striking resemblance to another famous merlady and the perfect segway into the next part of our show where we discuss the mermaid’s influence on pop culture. The mermaid has been at the forefront of fantasy since, well, goshdarn near the dawn of recorded history. Why do you think that is?
MERMAID: Well, just look at us: we look exactly like you do--waist-up anyhow. People can relate to things that look and speak like they do. I mean, think about it; Mermaids, minotaurs, centaurs, harpies… these enduring and fantastic creatures all have one thing in common and that’s the human image.
CH: Never thought of it quite like that, but I think you are on to something. Now, back to the oil painting of the two-tailed mermaid, I’ve actually worked for a company sporting arguably the most globally iconic image of a mermaid: Starbucks. Here’s the logo right here. Now, you may notice something funky going on there.
MERMAID: Ah, Starbucks coffee, yes.
FM: Wait, how do you know about Starbucks coffee?
MERMAID: Hah, look around you at all those beach bums. You’d cry if you knew just how many plastic Starbucks cups and straws you uplanders discard into our oceans among so many other non-biodegrading garbage. Partially the reason we feel so little empathy about calling you folk into the sea. So yes, I am more than familiar with this particular two-tailed mermaid. And for the record, this image is far from modern.
CH: The company admits it was based on a 16th century Norse woodcut.
MERMAID: Ah, but long before this Norse woodcut, there was an artist much farther south. Some time in the 1160s, an Italian monk named Pantaleone and his creative team of artists are said to have constructed a dazzling cathedral adorned with images of astonishing figures. Joining the colorful cast of Adam and Eve, sphinxes, and even Alexander the Great, was the curious image of a green-scaled mermaid with two tails. Oh, what I would give to see this.
FM: Got my phone out right here. How ‘bout I just do an image search right quick… here go: the mosaic at Ontranto Cathedral. Why do you reckon the split tails though? You only seem to have one.
MERMAID: My, what a beautiful image. What? Oh yea, I believe the two tails were representative of fertility. Double the tails equal double the babies.
FM: Yikes.
MERMAID: Haha, don’t feel ashamed of the imagery. We Merfolk have ancient images of humans with double waists []...four legs just dangling around like a bunch of fleshy lobsters. It’s silly to be sure, but hey, baby-making was big business back in the day and myths reflected that.
FM: Now, it’s funny we bump into you here in Florida, because long before Disney came to town, there was the Weekiwachee Mermaids.
CH: Is that the old tourist trap with the young ladies in mermaid garb who perform underwater for tourists using air tubes to breath?
FM: Sure thing! And they’ve been here forever. Well, if you consider 1947 forever.
MERMAID: I’ve been shown these magnificent girls! What a splendid job they do portraying us. Just know that, for humans, these girls are the most highly regarded to us true merfolk.
FM: Not to mention, this classic roadside attraction still has a functional Mold-O-Matic.
CH: Mold-O-What?
FM: Mold-o-Matic. You know, them machines which make clamps molds together to make you a plastic souvenir?
CH: Not ringing any bells, I’m afraid. Maybe it’s just a Florida thing.
FM: Might be.
PART 6: Farewell
MERMAID: Listen, you uplanders have been absolutely wonderful, but I am afraid I must leave you now. If I don’t pass my Calling Test, my momma’s going to kill me! Do you know how many sand dollars Siren School is these days?
FM: Not sure I can, in good conscience, just let you go off and kill a person.
MERMAID: How about that dude over there blasting his music and throwing bread at the seagulls? The one wearing a “FBI: Female Body Inspector” tank top?
FM: Lord almighty, yea, you can have that guy.
MERMAID: Wonderful!
FM: Now, before you swim off killin’ folk I do have one last question for ya.
MERMAID: Sure, anything!
FM: How do you know so dang much about human history? Like, either you just made up every date and figure on the fly or you are actually extremely well-versed in human culture.
CH: Yah, I was wondering that myself. Mermaids are pretty exclusively aquatic. What gives?
MERMAID: Hah, easy answer, and one that brings us full circle. Remember that my ancestry began with the Assyrian Goddess, Atargatis. She was originally among humankind. We merfolk have historically always had a terrestrial network of good people who keep us in the know with their history and with ours shared in return. Han Christian Anderson being one of our more noteworthy affiliates.
FM: Jumpin’ Jesus, I didn’t know yall were so, I dunno, involved?
CH: Good to know that some humans and merfolk can live harmoniously, even if it is beneath a shroud of secrecy.
MERMAID: Exactly! Thank you so so much, and listen, you two are literally the best. You have absolutely shattered numerous uplander stereotypes and been so kind to me. I hope I have helped to clear up any questions you had about us merfolk.
CH: You sure did! It’s been an absolute splash meeting you, Cresendia.
MERMAID: Bye, beaches!
FM: Bye for now, Cresendia, and good luck with Siren School!
CH: And for you folks at home, we encourage you to send us any questions or new information you may have about today’s episode!
FM: Yep yep, just to shoot us an email at thetalegatepodcast@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram @TheTalegatePodcast for photos, cast info, updates, and more!
[Melodic humming]
FBI GUY: Whoaaa, check out the babe! Smooch City, here I come! Whoa wait, what the heck!
[Splash as he disappears]
FM: Aaaand there she goes.
CH: They grow up so fast. Be sure to return in two weeks for our next episode.
FM: See ya later, Talegaters!