The Talegate Podcast

S1E4 - Halloween Special with Cat Sith (Ft. Brooke Upholzer)

October 31, 2020 Harrison the Florida Man & Aaron the Cheesehead Season 1 Episode 7
The Talegate Podcast
S1E4 - Halloween Special with Cat Sith (Ft. Brooke Upholzer)
Show Notes Transcript

Happy Halloween! Join Cat Síth, Florida Man, and Cheesehead for a very special episode of The Talegate as they grab pints at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and discuss the true origin of Halloween: the Celtic harvest festival of Samhain. Think you know Halloween? I mean, you probably do, but get ready to know EVEN MORE!

Samhain is only one of four seasonal festivals held by the ancient Celts. Though this is considered the true predecessor to what we know today as Halloween, not all of our modern traditions are the same as theirs. Jack'o'lanterns weren't children's activities, but avatars for spiritual guardians to ward off evil faeries and spirits such as Cat Síth and were carved of root vegetables, not pumpkins. Similar but far more gruesome than the costumed Trick'r'Treat is the tradition of the White Mare, where Celtic crews would don a cloth and mask made of horse's skull and go from farm from farm demanding tribute.

Check out more on these topics by listening to The Talegate Podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or any other fine podcast directories; and please rate, review, and subscribe. OR simply follow the link our user-friendly website at www.thetalegatepodcast.com! Also, be sure to follow us on Instagram @thetalegatepodcast and write us with your own stories at TheTalegatePodcast@gmail.com.

Brooke Upholzer reprises her role as the ever-crass Cat Síth. You can listen to Brooke co-hosts the self-help podcast,
Dear Me, Love Me, along with Tee Boyich.

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THE TALEGATE PODCAST
Halloween Special ft. Cat Síth


[Tavern sounds]


CATSITH: You’re ordering the Pumpkin Skoosh and not a proper beer? What, afraid to wet your Wallies?


CH: Wet my what? Who the heck is Wally?


CATSITH: You’re fookin’ horseteeth, you manky dunderheid!


FM: Uh...guys.


CATSITH: Are you at least getting a proper bevvy?


FM: Of course. One Butterbeer for me, please!


CATSITH: Butterbeer?? Am I babysitting a bunch of reeking bairns now?


CH: Fine, fine, I’ll order us all a beer each. But I’m still trying one of those fizzy pumpkin drinks. And you wanted a butterbeer, yah? Whattabouta regular beer?


FM: Grab me a Hogshead Brew.


CH: Gotcha. So Hogshead Brew for you, Wizards Brew for me, and uh...Cat Sith?


CATSITH: A Dragon Scale for me, please.


CH: Dragon Scale, gotcha gotcha. Oh, Florida Man, what were you trying to say before I took orders?


FM: I’s gonna say that I kinda hit “record” already.


CH: AH shoot, I’ll be real quick! Go ahead and just start without me!


FM: Okiedokie. So y’all at home might be wonderin’ why the heck we’re recording a short little thang here in the Hogshead Tavern. Welp, it happens to be a pretty special day.


CATSITH: Pretty special? Are you daft? It’s fooking Halloween, second best holiday in the world!


FM: Second to what?


CATSITH: Second to my holiday, Samhain: the gaelic harvest festival from which Halloween evolved. I mentioned it back in our interview, but I’ve been saving the best bits for this, our Talegate Halloween special!


FM: That’s right! Keep them pumpkins lit and check your candy, cause we’re doing a Halloween episode, baby!


[Special Halloween rendition of The Talegate Theme]


CATSITH: Aaaand we’re back! 


FM: Hope y’all enjoyed our super spooky rendition of The Talegate Theme, aptly called, The Hellgate, performed babyboi, Mat Jones! 


CH: Line wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. That hogs head actually moves! Anyway, what did I miss?


CATSITH: Nothing but thematic intro song. You look like a real nugget there balancing five Drinks though. Could only be three, but no. You boys had to get your little sugar drinks.


CH: Ah hush it up. The dragon scale is yours, right?


CATSITH: Och aye.


FM: And I’ll take those off your hands.


[Splash]


CH: Ah shoot, I just spilt some of my Pumpkin Fizz.


CATSITH: Hell mend ye. Now shut yer gobs and talk about Samhain (saa-wn) already!


CH: Right! Samhain (saa-wn), sometimes called Sam-Hain, was an ancient gaelic tradition marking the end of harvest season, dating back before the 10th centuries.


CATSITH: It is one of four of the Gaelic seasonal festivals. Ushering in the “Dark Half” from October 31st to November 1st, it falls right between the fall equinox and winter solstice. The other festivals include Imbolc (im-blk) on the first of February, Bealtaine (b'yell'tain'a) the first of May, and Lughnasadh (Luna-saa) the first of August.


CH: This great harvest festival is when villages audited the harvest itself to store and ration out for the harsh winter. But in celebration of the fruit of their labor, villages would throw incredible gatherings that included a bounty of food, alcohol, bonfires, games such as bobbing for apples, folk plays called “mummers”...


CATSITH: Druids would light spinning wheels of fire, livestock was sacrificed. People fooking knew how to party back in my day. 


FM: Sounds like it.


CH: And they even held horse races!


CATSITH: You know what else they did with horses? Decorated their skulls, posing as Láir Bhán, the White Mare, and lead packs of children from farm to farm demanding tribute. Farmers who gave food were blessed. Those who didn’t had bad luck befall them.


CH: So kind of like Trick ‘r Treat then?


CATSITH: Good using your heid for once. As I mentioned in our last interview, I paid farms  similar visits where I would bless those who left me bowls of milk and curse the coos of those who didn’t from ever producing milk again. Bunch of just… useless utters swinging around.


CH: Yah, you certainly took the concept of Trick’r Treat to the horrifying new heights.

 

FM: That all sounds real festive and all but, much like our Halloween is said to be, Samhain--Baeltaine, too for that matter--was said to be a gateway between worlds. From the otherworlds, a giant fire-breathing creature’s said to emerge, playing his harp to lull people to sleep, before incinerating ‘em. Weren’t until the young legendary hero, Finn MacCumhaill fought it off with a magical spear that the people were finally saved. At least in Irish lore.


CH: Furthermore, these gateways are said to allow the souls of the dead to pass through. Not always a bad thing, if they still had receptive kin around. Many of the defining features of Halloween stem from later variations to the classic Samhain. 


CATSITH: In terms of playing “tricks,” at least of the non-hexing sort, was first recorded back in  1736, at least in the Highlands. Though the act of guising, or wearing costumes, dates back to the 16th century festivals, it finally made its way down to jolly ol’ England in the 1900’s.


FM: The most definitive tradition of Halloween is the carvin’ of jack o'lanterns out of pumpkins.


CATSITH: Well, back then we didn’t use pumpkins so much as turnips and other root-vegetables, but the tradition was still very much the same. On samhain, guisers would carve hackit expressions and turn them into lanterns to carry throughout their night of mischief-making. Alternatively, they were put in window sills and outside of doorways to ward off evil or mischievous spirits such as us fairies. It is believed that the jack o'lanterns were avatars for powerful spirits themselves.


FM: Did the jack o'lanterns ever deter you from trickin’ folk, Cat Sith?


CATSITH: Aye! I don’t fuck with that.


[Footsteps fade in]


WAITER: Hey guys, I was just sent over to check that this isn’t a pet?


FM: Uh, nope. Definitely not a pet.


WAITER: Good good. So it’s your emotional support animal then, I assume?


FM: Uh...sure. [sneeze] Nothin’ but emotional support from this old girl.


WAITER: She’s adorable. And so large for a cat. What breed is she?


[Purring]


FM: Is obnoxious a breed?


WAITER: Too funny. Well enjoy your drinks and sorry to bother you. Oh, and a few tables overheard some rather crass language. Remember, this is a family park, okay?


FM: Oh, my bad. Will do.


[Footsteps fade out]


CH: Well hey, I think now may be a good time to wrap it up here. people are starting to stare at us...probably due to our plethora of obscenities.


FM: Or the fact that we have a ginormous cat on the table here slurping a lager.


[Cat drinking sound]


 CH: That, too. We hope you listeners are having a safe and savvy Halloween and hopefully you 

even learned something!


FM: That’s the goal. And for any questions, insight, or stories of your own, feel free to shoot us an email at thetalegatepodcast@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram @TheTalegatePodcast for photos, cast info, updates and more!


CATSITH: Haste Ye Back!


FM: See ya later, Talegaters!


CH: HAPPY HALLOWEEEEN!


CATSITH: Big thanks to all your donkeys who joined us for our very special Halloween episode! Cat Sith is played by Brooke Upholster; be sure to check out her podcast, Dear Me, Love Me. It’s a whole lot better than this garbage, for sure. 


Cheesehead is played by the dobber Aaron Sherry, you can check him out on the Youtube channel, So Can You. Florida Man is played by Harrison Foreman, a real walloper that one. Special theme song, “The Hellgate” is performed by Mat Jones. Finally, someone with actual talent. This episode is written by Harrison Foreman and edited by Aaron Sherry.