They say never let a Black Cat cross your path, but they didn’t say anything about interviewing one! Lay out your milk saucers and light the fires as this Gaelic fairy feline shares folklore from the Highlands. With All Hallow’s Eve creeping closer, Cat Síth gives us the history of her role in Samhain, the origin of Halloween.
Cat Síth (pronounces SH-EE in Gaelic), is a ferocious fairy feline with the powers ranging from cursing farmers's cows (or coos) with dry udders to swallowing and effectively damning human souls as they rise to heaven from their bodies. But is Cat Síth the only culprit behind the Celtic Myths? The Kellas Cat, a cross-breed between the housecat and Scottish Wildcat, is a true cryptid that once only believed to be a myth in the British Isles. The Kellas Cat was found to be a real in 1984.
Brooke Upholzer is our special guest. She is co-host of the self-help podcast, Dear Me, Love Me with Tee Boyich.
Follow us as we interview the beast in question by listening on Apple Podcast, Spotify, Deezer, iHeartRadio, and other fine podcast directories; and please subscribe, rate. and review! OR simply visit www.thetalegatepodcast.com.
They say never let a Black Cat cross your path, but they didn’t say anything about interviewing one! Lay out your milk saucers and light the fires as this Gaelic fairy feline shares folklore from the Highlands. With All Hallow’s Eve creeping closer, Cat Síth gives us the history of her role in Samhain, the origin of Halloween.
Cat Síth (pronounces SH-EE in Gaelic), is a ferocious fairy feline with the powers ranging from cursing farmers's cows (or coos) with dry udders to swallowing and effectively damning human souls as they rise to heaven from their bodies. But is Cat Síth the only culprit behind the Celtic Myths? The Kellas Cat, a cross-breed between the housecat and Scottish Wildcat, is a true cryptid that once only believed to be a myth in the British Isles. The Kellas Cat was found to be a real in 1984.
Brooke Upholzer is our special guest. She is co-host of the self-help podcast, Dear Me, Love Me with Tee Boyich.
Follow us as we interview the beast in question by listening on Apple Podcast, Spotify, Deezer, iHeartRadio, and other fine podcast directories; and please subscribe, rate. and review! OR simply visit www.thetalegatepodcast.com.
THE TALEGATE PODCAST
Episode 2: Cat Sith
Part 1: Introduction
FLORIDA MAN: Howdy folks, and welcome to The Talegate!
CHEESEHEAD: For those of you just joining us, we’re on a roadtrip across America to uncover the mysteries behind tall tales, fairy tales, folktales, fishtales, & urban legends, one interview at a time.
FM: We inherited a truck from our late Granny May and discovered that the crystal hanging off the rearview mirror was more than decorative. It’s a Dowsing Pendulum leading us to the good folks and creatures behind the tales we all grew up with. With that, I’m Harrison, the Florida Man.
CH: And I’m Aaron, the Cheesehead. Today we come to you sunny Orlando, FL just off the I-4 and boy do we have a strange guest for you this time.
FM: But before we get down to business, what we drinkin’ today, Cheesehead?
CH: Today’s brewskies come to you from Crooked Can Brewery in Winter Garden, FL.
FM: Ooo, let’s crack this open.
CH: This one is called “Domestic Bliss.”
FM: Boy this’s one’s strong.
CH: At 9.5 ABV, this one’ll get you schnookered real quick.
FM: I’m tellin you.
CH: You’re married. How’s Domestic Bliss hold up?
FM: Pretty on point. Married life hits you hard at first, but has a smooth finish once you get the hang of things. So yea, basically this drink.
CH: She’s listening to this podcast, isn’t she?
FM: Prolly. Love Yoooou.
CH: [literally anything] On with our guest!
FM: The third member of today’s cast is an anagram of that word.
CH: Skeep-beep de bop-bop beep bop bo-dope. Skeetle-at-de-op-de-day
FM: No, not Scat. Cats, actually. It’s a cat.
CAT SITH: Ya damn fucking straight I’m a cat! And proud of it.
FM: Whoa, a hellion right out the gate.
CH: That’s right. Today, all the way from the Scottish Highlands, the royalties-collector from George Lucas herself, Cat Sith.
FM: [sneezes]
CAT SITH: I’d say I’m proud to be here, but Florida’s bloody hot. Full of bugs and tourists, and if I’m being honest, I prefer the bugs.
FM: I hear that. [sneeze]
CAT SITH: What’s wrong with this one? Plague get a hold of him? Plague, isn’t it? I call dibs on his soul.
CH: What? Plague...no!, it’s just my cousin here is allergic to cats.
CAT SITH: Ah, and here I thought I was the pussy.
FM: The hell you say? [sneeze]
CAT SITH: [laugh] Just jokin’ ya. Here, let me help wipe you off there.
FM: No thanks. [sneeze] Get your darned tail out of my face.
Part 2: History of Cat Síth
CH: So your name is Cat Sìth, which is Scottish.
CAT SITH: Correct.
FM: As much as I already hate you, your name sounds pretty badass. The “Sìth” part, I’m meanin’.
CAT SITH: Right, in America, people hear “Sìth” and think red-saber-twirling space warlocks, but in Scottish Gaelic, it means “Fairy.”
FM: Which sounds a whole lot less badass.
CAT SITH: Yer aff yer heid! Americans hear “fairy” and think we’re a bunch of fucking...Tinkerbelles or something! The Fae of the British Isles are mischievous, powerful entities willing to wreck anyone or anything that stands in the way of our wants!
FM: So exactly like TInkerbelle.
CAT SITH: Touche.
CH: Let’s address some of your other names, shall we?
CAT SITH: If we must.
CH: Cat Sidhe?
CAT SITH: Sure, the Irish variation. Sidhe: the fairy folk of Irish folklore. Same deal.
CH: “Big Ears.”
CAT SITH: Yer Maw! Oh, wait...Aye. Aye, actually. That was what those weird wee bastards called me during Taghairm (TAGERUM), an ancient practice of divination. Basically, they’d torture animals to summon me. Called me Big Ears. Wanted me to grant wishes for them.
FM: How’d that work out for ‘em?
CAT SITH: It worked. Assuming they wished for death, haha.
FM: Yikes.
CH: Prince of Cats?.
CAT SITH: “Prince,” fucking Sasannachs.
CH: Sounds pretty regal
CAT SITH: Aye, for someone with a bawbag. Do you see any baws here?
CH: Bawbag, as in testicals? Uh, no. No I do not.
CAT SITH: Why were ya looking at your friend there when ya said that?
FM: Hey!
CAT SITH: Just jokin’ ya, donkey.
Ch: Old Tom?
CAT SITH: Old Tom is just my proper name in The King of Cats. And obviously not my name.
CH: In many cultures, crossing a black car is considered bad luck. Are you offering anything to the contrary of this negative stereotype?
CAT SITH: No, No, that’s pretty accurate. I’m terrible luck. Matter of fact so much so, that during Samhain (SAH-win), Celts would leave out saucers of milk just to avoid me cursing their cows with dry milk glands.
FM: Sounds kinda extreme.
CAT SITH: Fae’s gotta eat.
FM: Fair ‘nuff. [sneeze] Speakin’ of eatin’, I heard you got a pretty horrifying diet.
CAT SITH: “Horrifying” is in the stomach of the beholder, as they say.
FM: Nobody says that, but okay.
CAT SITH: I eat souls. No big deal.
CH: My research indicates it was a big deal. So much so that Celts in the HIghlands created a ritual wake specifically to keep you away from the deceased.
CAT SITH: Feill Fadalach: Late Wake. Those little shites would sing, fight, blaze fires, and leave puzzles and catnip to distract me from stealing the soul of their deceased loved ones.
FM: So basically a primitive laser pointer.
CAT SITH: Bingo.
FM: You ever feel bad about eating people’s souls?
CAT SITH: Dinnae ken. You ever feel bad about your own food industries? At the end of the day, everything we eat is fucked up one way or another.
FM: Suppose you ain’t wrong in that. What’s a soul taste like, anyway?
CAT SITH: Glad you ask. Brought you lads some. Take a bite, let me know what you think!
CH: I’m not sure I’m comfortable eating soul.
CAT SITH: So all three of us pussies now? Jokin’ Ya. Think of it like this, the soul is already snatched. Like, it’s doomed already, may as well take a nibble.
FM: Compelling argument. What the hell, I’ll try anything once. Taste like...like Key lime pie.
CH: You’re crazy. It tastes like a fresh cheese curd.
CAT SITH: It tastes like both and neither. It replicates as whatever you imagine the best flavor to be.
PART 3: Mistaken Identity
CATSITH: Speaking of taste, you know who has none?
CH: Vikings fans?
FM: Anyone who enjoyed Tiger King?
CATSITH: First off, aye, fuck vikings. They destroyed so many of the good Celtic people who, you know, fed me and feared me. Second, as a fellow feline, I’d like to know more of this “Tiger King” you speak of.
FM: Flamboyant angry fella with a mullet and itchy trigger finger who bred tigers for money.
CATSITH: And the tigers just...crowned him King?
FM: Guess you could say that.
CATSITH: Oh dear. Both good entries, but NO. Fucking Final Fantasy. Those video game developers have the baws give the good name of Cat Sith--well, sorry, CAIT Sith-- to some gaunt, obnoxious, useless anthro-cat who wears a crown & cape and looks absolutely nothing like me. The dobber.
FM: Perhaps better representin’ yer “good name” is Cat Sith from the fifteen (and counting) book series, The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher. I have read all of them, actually ,including the two short story compilations and comics.
CATSITH: I didn’t peg you for a reader.
FM: I’m just gonna ignore that and resist the urge to flex my three college degrees. In Dredsen Files, Cat Sith is portrayed as an extremely powerful entity of the Fae kingdom and looks more or less like you. Pitch black fur, white tuff on the chest, and about 90lbs of ass-kicking muscle.
CATSITH: Do you have a picture of him? Asking for a friend.
FM: Uh, sure. Here’s some fan art.
CATSITH: Oh my. I’d let him get me up the duff.
FM: What?
CATSITH: Nothing.
CH: Also, I can’t help but think you had some influence on the creation of “The Cheshire Cat ”from Lewis Carole’s 1865 classic, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.
CATSITH: Absolutely. He’s a mischievous otherworldly feline that’s half helpful, half asshole. Certainly took some liberties with Cheshire Cat though to make the character his own. Also he looks less like me and more like some of the many culprits behind my legend: the European and Scottish Wildcats. These cousins of mine are fierce and look like a mix between a housecat and raccoon with their bushy, striped tails.
CM: Now one cat that almost undoubtedly plays into your legend is the Kellas Cat. It’s a mix between the Scottish wildcat and domestic breeds, meaning it’s quite large but also could carry the dark coloring you’re so well known for.
CATSITH:*with pitty* Aye, the poor bastards have received a lot of the blame for my misdeeds over the Centuries, especially on the Highlands.
PART 4: Harry Potter in the Highlands
CH: Interesting. Care to tell us more about life in the Highlands?
CAT SITH/CH/FM: [literally anything; Celtic history. Current history. Personal travels there. Etc. Segue into Hogwarts]
CAT SITH: One think I hate about the Highland are the bloody Potterheads. You know, the donkey-brained shites running around with their wee little wands and brooms up their arses.
FM: You mean “Quidditch,” the favorite pastime of the Wizarding World.
CAT SITH: Haud yer weesht. There is no Hogwarts in the Highlands! Stop trampling my lands with your tourists fantasies!
CH: Speaking of tourists, you’re a long way from home.
FM: Yea, what brings you all the way out to Florida?
CAT SITH: [mumbling/sheepishly] I wanted to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.
CH: Come again?
CAT SITH: [Slightly louder sheepish bumbling] I’m visiting the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.
FM: So you’re a tourist visiting out of love for Harry Potter?
CAT SITH: Shut yer gob!
CH: We both love Harry Potter and neither of us would mind paying Universal a visit.
FM: You wouldn’t by chance care to tag along with us, would ya?
CAT SITH: You jokin’ me?
FM: Ain’t a joke.
CAT SITH: Of course, charaids! Let me just grab my wand and I’m good to go!
CH: Just out of curiosity, which wand picked you?
CAT SITH: McGonagall’s. Who else?
FM: That checks.
PART 5: Farewell
CH: Well, we’re off to the Wizarding World. We hope you learned something.
FM: Shoot us an email at thetalegatepodcast@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram @TheTalegatePodcast for photos, cast info, updates and more!
CH: If you like what you heard, consider subscribing, and be sure to tune in again in two weeks for our next episode.
FM: See ya later, Talegaters!