THE TALEGATE PODCAST
EP 1: First Nations and rise of Sasquatch movies
FLORIDA MAN: Howdy folks, and welcome to Dashboard Chats!
CHEESEHEAD: As the name implies, we are recording these segments from our dashboard on the drive between our main interviews to discuss the tales and urban legends that aren’t quite fit for the mic.
FM: That’s right! Ain’t every topic ripe for recordin’ but that don’t make them any less interesting. With that, I’m Harrison, the Florida Man.
CH: And I’m Aaron, the Cheesehead. Today we come to you from the Florida Turnpike, north bound, where the only thing more abundant than the nudie bars are the Prolife billboards!
FM: Hah, if there was ever a sentence to sum up the Sunshine State, I think you nailed it. Behind us the Everglades National Park, home of the FL Skunk Ape, who we just recently talked with.
CH: Real nice guy! He’s part of the Sasquach family, an extensive and reclusive species of sentient hominids dating back to at least the First Nations. And speaking of First Nations, we would be remiss not mentioning Miccosukee, Seminole, and the like without giving these men and women the credit they deserve. I think it’s safe to say that the Seminole are the most well known of the tribes here, is that accurate?
FM: Yea, that’s fair. The Seminole started off as a confederacy of primarily Georgia and Alabama Creeks. They played ball with the European colonists for better or worse, with every broken truce pushing them deeper and deeper south into the Florida swamps, which still weren’t good enough for Jackson. The Seminole Wars rages on from ‘bout 1816-58. Many people today think of Seminole more superficially, as Chief Oceola was appropriated as mascot of Florida State University.
CH: Isn’t that the chief who was held hostage in Castillo de San Marcos in St. Augustine? And for those who don’t know, Castillo de San Marcos is the oldest masonry fort in the continental United States, but we’ll talk more on that when we visit there soon.
FM: Nah, you right. Osceola was held captive there unfortunately until just before he passed on. History’s shadow being as dark as it is still didn’t keep these remarkable people from the light, as they are still very much around today with a large settlement in Oklahoma and Florida to this day. They play a very large role in Florida economy with numerous casinos, Hard Rock Cafes, and enlightening Pow-Wows, one of which I had the honor of visiting out in Mt. Dora.
CH: That sounds incredible. I’ve been to Pow Wows, too. It’s a great way for folks to get acquainted with the first nation’s people and learn of cultures left out of the average textbook. I’ll be honest though, I’m not all too familiar with Florida's other indigenous people.
FM: Sadly, a lot of them were subjected to genocide and didn’t have written languages, making much of their customs and culture all but lost to history. That said, there were certainly some other tribes that shared the land. Apalachee being one of them.
CH: I retract my statement, I have actually heard of the Apalachee. They are famously known for one of the earliest ball games in American history, played both as part of religion and for sport. They extended all the down to Florida?
FM: North Florida, anyway.
CH: Remarkable.
FM: Beyond that were the Calusa and Timicuan to name a few. Timucuan are famous for their shell mounds which they built upon, I’m guessin’ to alleviate flooding. They were excellent hunters and skilled potters as well.
CH: And the Calusa?
FM: Calusa were badass and pretty comparably tall in stature. Their name literally translated to “fierce people” and boy did they live up to the hype. Known more for their coastal fisheries than agriculture, these people tussled toe to toe with giant gators, turtles, and even sharks. And unlike many other nations, they didn’t really play ball or view Europeans as gods and the like. Instead, they’d more often straight up attacked any colonial fool stupid enough to get within range. Heck, they were the folks who mortally wounded Ponce De Leon, himself.
CH: Fierce indeed. If only someone had Chered with Ponce the location of the fountain of Youth.
FM: Then he could turn back time...he could find a way. Anywho, Miccosukee, along with the Seminole were among the tribes who told legends of the southern sasquatch we call the Skunk Ape.
CH: Crazy how the legacy of sasquatch has endured for so long. And it seems like there is a resurgence of interest in them these days. I mean, look at the film industry as of late? Just last year Missing Link by Laika was up for Best Animated Feature.
FM: Yeah, you’re right come to think about it. Missing Link, Abominable, Small foot…Son of Bigfoot.
CH: Son of what? Oh, and don’t forget The Man who Killed Hitler and then Bigfoot starring Sam Elliot. Why do you think there has been such a resurgence of interest in the big guys?
FM: That’s a good question. I hadn’t seen The Man who Killed HItler and then the Bigfoot, so you’ll have to catch me up on that one, but I have seen all the other ones. There was certainly a common thread among them. As an English major you discuss four types of conflict: man vs man, man vs society, man vs self, and man vs nature. Sasquatches represent agents of nature and whether it’s a game hunter or scientist, there is always an antagonist charged with a mission to hold dominance over them.
CH: In The Man who Killed Hitler and then the Bigfoot, it almost seems to blend all conflicts into one, as the protagonist has his own battles with society, man, self, and nature [correct this if incorrect, and expand on this as you please]
FM: Bad or not, I still feel like i gotta check this movie out. I do think though that a lot of the subject matter regarding Sasquatch is for marketing. The yeti is featured in all of these recent animated films which appeals to overseas audiences who can really make or break the overall gross.
CH: Come to think of it, movies featuring the sasquatch generally only focus on two groups: the Bigfoot and Yeti. When will the Skunk Ape finally get his due?
FM: Damn good question. Want to call him up?
CH: You betcha!
[phone rings]
SKUNKY: Hello?
FM: Hey, it’s Florida Man and Cheesehead from the Talegate.
SKUNKY: Hey guys! Longtime, no see. I kid I kid. What can I do ya for?
CH: We were discussing sasquatch as the subject matter of film and realized you are grossly unrepresented. Do you have any thoughts on that?
SKUNKY: I usta dream of seeing my kind on the silver screen, but alas, those days have gone.
CH: Ah geez, that’s sad to hear. Why the change of heart?
SKUNKY: You see, there was only one leading man fit for a movie like that and he’s no longer with us. Burt Reynolds.
FM: I gotta agree with you there. Rest in Peace, brother.
CH: Welp, thank you very much, Skunky and there you have it, folks.
FM: Thank you all for joining us for Dashboard Chats. We’ll be doing each week between Talegate episodes to be sure to stay tuned.
CH: Furthermore, we’d love to answer any questions you might have regarding any of the topics we’ve discussed or any questions & insight you may have on your own.
FM: Just email us at Thetalegatepodcast@gmail.com and check us out on Instagram @thetalegatepodcast for photos, cast info, updates and more.
CH: See you later, Talegaters!